More One Offs for July

Did you know that lithium batteries are considered hazardous cargo requiring special licenses, permits, containers and so on to transport? Yes sir, Federal government regulations say so. These are the same batteries found in every cell phone, iPod, laptop, and just about every other electronic device of which we all carry around one or two everywhere we go.

It’s a wonder people aren’t spontaneously combusting or exploding all over the planet from all that hazardous material we are all packing. Might this also explain what is causing all those whales to beach themselves? Possibly even global warming, er, I mean climate change?

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Did you hear the one about MillerCoors and their license to sell beer in Minnesota?

Here is the direct quote from the Associated Press:

“Miller, Coors and other popular beers may disappear from Minnesota stores and bars within days because brewing giant MillerCoors lacks the proper licenses due to the state's government shutdown.

MillerCoors has 39 "brand label registrations" with the state that expired last month, and the employees who process renewals were laid off when state government shut down July 1 in a budget dispute, Doug Neville, a spokesman for the Department of Public Safety, said Wednesday.

State alcohol enforcement officials who remain on the job recently told officials with Chicago-based MillerCoors LLC that they need to come up with a plan soon for pulling their products he said.”

This is just gorgeous. You couldn’t make up this sort of plot, though Joseph Heller came close in Catch-22.

Cop: Sorry, Miller, but I’m going to have to run you in for not having the proper license.

Miller: Wait. I’ll get a license. Who do I talk to?

Cop: No one. The State doesn’t issue the license you need. Now, up against the wall and spread ‘em.

On a real world and practical sense note, if the budget is so bad, why lay off the license people who bring in revenue but not the cops who enforce the license and shut revenue off? With or without an up to date license, MillerCoors must generate millions in taxes from selling beer in Minnesota. All the license cops are going to do is make the budget thing worse by shutting off all that tax money in closing down the sales while spending tax money by way of their salaries and benefits as they drive around in $4 gallon state vehicles making sure no Miller cans and bottles are on the store shelves.

Do we think government of any sort is better at doing things for us than we are doing them for ourselves?

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They caught a bunch of teachers and principals in Atlanta cheating on the standardized tests to make students score better and the teachers look like they were doing their job. This wasn’t just a one-time deal either as it appears it has been going on for a number of years. And, a bunch isn’t really descriptive enough as the number of teachers may extend into the hundreds and the principals to more than a half dozen. The cheating literally involved the teachers erasing wrong answers and marking in the right ones before turning the tests over to the scorers.

Guess whose fault it is?

Yep, that’s right: George Bush. If he hadn’t come up with that criminally insane program of No Child Left Behind which put impossible goals and standards in place, the teachers wouldn’t have to cheat to be successful. Seriously, I saw this offered in a news article, with top billing, as justification for the teachers’ actions. The problem, you see, is that the standards for learning are too high in comparison to the standards for honesty and integrity. So what do we expect teachers to do when faced with that dilemma?

Recently, the school board gave about 80 teachers and 6 principals the option to resign or be fired. Apparently the option to resign is to allow the victims, er, I mean the teachers, to preserve their reputation. One presumes this is so they will have a better opportunity to get another job without the black mark of being a cheater on their resume. One also supposes the school district will give them a nice letter of recommendation as well. That way they can get another teaching position and be just as successful in their new school.

Given the bullshit the teachers union and liberals in general are able to generate, if I was one of those teachers, I’d make them fire me because you know I could sue for wrongful termination and retire on the judgment once a liberal court got done with it. It beats having to get another teaching job at which I obviously don’t like working hard or honestly, as evidenced by what my students’ real test scores should be.